About Me

Our culture both overtly and covertly tells us that:

1. Becoming a mother is instantaneous.

2. We should emerge from birth as "superwomen" - ready to bounce back to what once was in our bodies, careers, hobbies, relationships, within 6 weeks. 

3. Pregnancy & birth is more important for holistic care than one's postpartum. 

4. Postpartum is an immediate family members-only space. Therefore, desiring external helps is not as culturally accepted (a "norm") & hardships are not shared with others when they arise.

I wish I knew that:

1. Birthing a human being is one of the biggest moments in one's life. It takes time to envision yourself as a Mama and it takes practice to embody this identity change. Embracing motherhood does not happen overnight; for some it can take hours, or others it takes weeks, even months to adjust.  This is why postpartum is considered a special transition time. A time to mold you into a new being - a mother, at your own pace. 

2.  Birth has permanently changed your body, mind (your brain!), and soul. Many women feel externally pressured by what our culture deems as "normal" after birth; that your stomach should be flat, you should return to work, or have the time & energy to cultivate certain relationships. Essentially, that you should be the same person but with a new small addition. This ideology is unrealistic and can propel women to live anxiously rather than live presently. It's okay to focus on you & your baby NOW. 

3.  Pregnancy and birth are a beautiful season of life needing much support & resources. But how often do we talk about internal preparedness for birth & then leave out preparedness for postpartum & parenthood? Postpartum is often an afterthought in most medical maternity care. For instance, if you choose an OBGYN for your prenatal care, the standard of practice is to see them once, post birth, at the 6 week mark for a general checkup.  This is insufficient for many women with various unique needs. It can leave you feeling stuck to a structural standard, doubting if you should ask for additional help. Postpartum is a season in a women's life that so crucially needs holistic supports too. 

4. For most of world history, people would live inter-generationally. When women gave birth there would be not only immediate family support but also care from one's entire community. In addition, many cultures have postpartum traditions like: 

- The Chinese practice of zuo yue zi or "sitting the month", 

- The Latin American practice of cuarentena.  

- The Korean 21-day care practice of Saam-chil-il. 

All of these cultural traditions promote a longer period of rest & recovery for a mother that's given birth. Unfortunately, this is not often the case here in Toronto. Many women are alone (single-parent) or some have their partners, & maybe grandparents for help.  For many, this is not enough support. This lack of communal care has made postpartum more challenging, in fact, for many women it can be holistically painful. Not only have you just been through the pains of birth, but you are also now going through the pains of physical recovery, learning new skills (like feeding and caring for your newborn around the clock) all the while wearing an adult diaper and being in a sleep deprived state. It is not as blissful as you may have thought. All pain deserves to be expressed & provided with adequate care. Therefore, Families need community, community requires relationships, & relationships require real vulnerability about our struggles, pain and fears.  

There is nothing so life changing as giving birth to your child and becoming a Mama. I believe that postpartum is a period that deserves a compassionate communal response. Learn more about the services I offer and how I can support you in your postpartum experience.